My Kingdom

im here working on all my "specila" place oh im going to put a weekly health tip so that u guys n girls can stay healthy!!

-pinkei :D

wats do you guys think about it? tell me what you think
-pinkiey :lol:

Artist: Evanescence Lyrics
Song: My Immortal Lyrics


I'm so tired of being here,
Supressed by all my childish fears,
and if you have to leave,
I wish that you would just leave,
Cause your pressence still lingers here,
and it won't leave me alone,

These wounds won't seem to heal,
This pain is just too real,
There's just too much that time cannot erase,

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
When you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears,
and I held your hand through all of these years,
But you still...have...all of me,

You used to captivate me,
by your resignating mind,
now i'm bound by the life you left behind,
Your face it haunts,
my once pleasant dreams,
your voice it chased away,
all the sanity in me,

These wounds won't seem to heal,
this pain is just to real,
there's just too much that time cannot erase,

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears,
and I held your hand through all of these years,
but you still...have...all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that your gone,
but though you're still with me,
I've been alone all along,

When you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears,
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears,
and I held your hand through all of these years,
but you still...have...all of me

this song is the best
-pinkiey

!! whats going on!!

December 3,2003
Im so freaking sick i can't call n e one


December 2,2003

*(that morning)*Today is one of those bitter-sweet days.... i didn't go to school (yay)
cause i woke up late and my mom didn't wanna drive me to school (lol)
but i have no problem with that cause im cool with not going to school today
i didn't really wanna go today
cause im avoiding some-one n yea i didn't wanna see that person today
apart from that i don't feel very well and well its not good being in school
when you don't want to be there .... yea i know ppl never wanna be there
but i actually like school yes i know its weird but hey i think its fun
besides i like ti learn i don't like to feel stupid
n i like to know what going on n the world sense
teachers always tell you whats going on in the world wether or not you wanna hear it
like my English I ( language arts, not to learn english) teacher
she's telling us all about the FCAT n the SAT n PSAT these are all really importanat tests
the FCAT is only for florida ---F in FCAT but its really well not really easy but its easy...
n by the time i have to take the SAT its going to be completely diffrent and shes preparing
us for it already n im only in 9th grade i think you take the SAT in 11th or 12th grade i can't
remember very well right now... my brain is in off mode sense im not in school....
ok... no the bitter part of today is that i can't get online until thursday ... i use my buisness
class as a net connection cause my internet isn't connected )= yes its pathetic but hey it isn't
connected so wat can i do.... well on another tone i just finished ready my cosmo issue n there
are very intresting things in there that i wanna share... oh n to all ppl who want to know about
S.. E... X ask me i know alot for my age... n i mean scientific n plesure ... so n e questions
both guys n girls can ask me... oh n n-e questions about hair,nails,or life in general
you can ask me .....

*(that afternoon)*Well im kinda bored right now cause i just finished drawing a pic for my *blog*
yea its a very cute pic its a lil devil girl... she kinda looks like be but im not that skinny or
white hey i'll admit it im not a stick but i have a very nice shape... ask ppl who actually know me...
i mean see me alot..n besides who cares what i look like im a good person so who cares ... besides
guys don't really like those really skinny chick... they like them ***HISPANIC*** (yay) cause we have
the hour-glass shape going on... besides ppl have diffrent taste so what one guy like another might
not so its all good...besides "beauty is only skin deep".... yea i know that a cliche but its
true n so is"beauty is in the eye of the beholder" i love it when adults tell kids that to make
them feel better, well they tell that to girls who really like someone but that person doesn't like them
back n the girl thinks its because she isn't "pretty enough" well its true not that the girl isn't
pretty its that the guy doesn't like her.... for no perticulare reason so yea life is weird like that
oh n let me give you young ppl a lil clue ... you fall in love with the most unexpected ppl
like i did if in the beggining of 8th grade someone would have told me that that i was going to fall
im love wiht the guy that i did i wouldn't have belived them... but i did n that's one of the reasons
why im such a better person now... cause of him... he brought out the best in me.... he taught me
without knowing that i should be who i am and not hide it... ive never been ashamed of how i am but
i usually keep certian comments to myself because they will creat problems between ppl but now i know
i can say what i think n if ppl don't like it well too bad for them cause i don't need any body's
approval to think n feel the way i do... i have very strong beliefs n thoughts that i like to share
with other ppl my age but ive noticed no one seems to care becasue they don't really know or care about
what i have to say... but when i was with him he would listen to me n i mean listen n he would have
some skind of an intelgent input to i said... that was so wonderful...to be able to feel so confertable
with some that you can say what ever you want n know that they'll still love you is wonderful...
but the bad things about love is that you suffer so much like i am right now... im moving to Texas
n i now lieve in florida... he broke up with me cause im leaving ),= ive cried so much becasue im
leaving ..... i don't cry for anyhting. unless its a movie but i just broke down completely 3 days ago n i cried
for hours... so much that i cried myself to sleep.... but i know that everything is for the best ...
that's why im comming back to florida to go to school here cause i wanna go to any of the universities here
n i want to come back to be independant n happy n be wiht my friends... many ppl tell me that im going to like
it there n that i'll want to stay ove r there... im goig to have fun for the next four year n im going
to enjoy myself but im not going to stay there at this point in my life if i need my friends this much
now im goin gto need them so much more when im older... i two bestfriends n the love of my life....
but all of this is going to make be stronger i know it will cause everytime something horrible happens
i pull through eventually i do but i always do.... nothing is going to get to me over there... nothing
can compare to all that i am suffering right now n all that i wil suffer when i have to say good-bye to them
n to make matters worse i like his family actually i love them... im going to miss them so much im going
to miss everyone so much n i don't know what im going to do wiht out them any ogf them my bestfriends
my love, n his family.... i'll make it ill pull through...
atleast i hope i can...

People ask if im in love with you
cause im sitting here with your picture and smiling to myself ( i smile)
i'm kinda lost in my own thought of you
my heart speaks before my mind thinks through, and i blush as i say yes
what a feeling of vulnerability coming over me
and im feeling weak and i can't speak (speak)
i can't think
never thought i'd give in so willingly to a human being
with abilities to set me free(free),let me be me
makes me wanna say
your lips your eyes your kiss i must admit
its a part of me
you please me,complete me, feeling me
like a melody
your soul,your flow, your youth,your truth is simply proof
we were ment to be
but the best quality that's hooking me is that your loving me for me
Now ppl ask why im n love wiht you
let me start by saying you got my heart bu just being who you are
and what we got is between me and you
doesn't matter bout the money i make what i do or that im a star
unconditionaly you're there for me
undeniably you inspire me, spiritually, so sweet
this is meanignful, its increadable,pleasurable,u nfirgettable
the way i feel, so sweet, makes me wanna say
your lips your eyes your kiss i must admit
its a part of me
you please me,complete me, feeling me
like a melody
your soul,your flow, your youth,your truth is simply proof
we were ment to be
but the best quality that's hooking me is that your loving me for me
its so amazing how something so sweet
hase come and rearrenged me life
ive been kissed by destany, oh heaven came and saved me
an angel was placed at my feet, this isn't ordinary
he's loving me for me.

*(late afternoon)* I feel so "ughhhhh" i feel so sick n in pain i just can't discribe
how much pain im in... my body hurts in all places but its this stinging pain... i feel
kinda numb but not really numb... i feel as if i have needles all over my body and there getting deeper
n deeper... i woke up in a cold sweat but it wasn't cause i has wearing alot of clothing its cause
i had a fever, i know it wasn't cause i was wearing alot of clothes cause i wasn't wearing alot of clothes...
besides i have a fever right now... writting helps me ignore the pain so im trying to keeep busy
n write alot besides im trying to learin how to type faster even though i already have a very fast
typin g average.... im getting ready for my job... i wanna be a lawyer... or a buisness person
or a lawyer that works for a buisness. i just wanna make alot of money n i lik elaw n i can argue very
well n i can make my point very quickly... on here it doesn't seem that way caus eim not arguying or n e thing
n besides im just writting to ignore the pain that is surging through out my whole body...